My room is an insect paradise

Last week my room seems to have been infected by some sort of insect plague. One day I opened my closet and a moth came flying out. I can already see the little basterd laughing and rubbing his yucky little legs together while gnawing away at my favourite dress. He soon met his death, so there. Unfortunately, his cousins decided to have a nice binge in my food cabinet, so I had to throw away some lovely pasta, risotto and herbs, because they were feasting in is. Herbs, really? They eat anything apparently.

With that infestation out of the way, I thought I would be safe. Well, I soon found out I had to think again. When I came home the evening after the great moth scare of 2007 and was checking my mail (real, not e-mail) a gianth son-of-a-bitch moth came flying towards me. And I’m not talking about those little evildoers that ate my clothes and food. A huge one, that I swear was eyeballing me like this, and with revenge for the death of his little siblings on his mind:

It’s huge, a huge moth

He had horrible hairy legs to boot, so I yelped and ran to my room. I was afraid to come out again, because I was sure he was waiting for me with a tiny, if deadly, axe. But my bladder was being a pain in the ass, so I had to overcome my fear of the killer moth and dashed to the bathroom. There was no sight of him, so I went bed to sleep…when I heard him buzzing above my head. BWAAAHHH! He must have slipped in my room after I went to the bathroom to kill me in my sleep. By waving a shawl in his direction to create air streams I managed to direct him to the door (this accompanied by moans of disgust and lots of little girl screams).

Well, then it was quiet for a couple of days, when yesterday a mutant mosquito distured me on the brink of sleep. I say mutant, because the little prick sounded like a helicopter on the verge of crashing. He didn’t buzz normal, but like BZZZzzzrprprprBZZZzzzprprpbrt. Anyway, I turned on the lights to kill him, but when my eyes were accostumed to the light, he was of course nowhere to be found. I have to hand it to mosquitos, there are the best magicians in the world. One moment there are buzzing in your ear, and as soon as you switch on the light, they disappear. A marvel of nature. This disappearing act went on for a bit – light on: silence, light off: buzzing, light on: silence, light off: buzzing.

When I turned on the lights determined not to switch them of until this basterd was dead and buried (read: squashed against my wall), something was flying at me at great speed. And this was no mosquito, this was a horrible nasty fly. Luckily, I remembered the ‘waving the shawl’ trick, as seen in the hairy moth incident. He was soon gone, and when I turned around I saw the mosquito flying over my bed, probably wondering where his dinner had gone. After a small pursuit I managed to finally squat him against my ceiling. His little flat body is still stuck there, reminding me of my victory over all insects.

2 Responses to “My room is an insect paradise”

  1. menni Says:

    And another crappy horror movie has been born :).
    Get a cat to deal with these monsters..

  2. catsnstuff Says:

    I can see it now: “Attack of the killer axe-wielding moths.” When I get a cat, I’ll train it to kill everything with six legs.

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