How to get a closet

1. Check out the internet. There are loads of bargains out there on Ebay and similar sites.

2. See a closet and fall totally in love with it. It’s so pretty!

3. Decide you must have it, even if it means you have to dispose of three other closets and cabinets, because the damn thing is huge. Saw one of your closets in half, because it turns out you’re going to need it to store your hanging clothes.

4. Make the startling discovery that your desk is too big and reluctantly take it apart and pick up another one at a friends. Take that one home using an extremely loud cart which makes little children cry and old people have heart attacks.

5. Drag the desk to the fifth story and feel unhappy about the fact that you live up that high and don’t have an elevator.

6. Find a co-worker and two roommates that are crazy and nice enough to help you to pick the closet up and haul the bastard up a ton of stairs on an early Saturday morning.

7. Then ask your roommate to help you put the whole thing together. It looks like it should be a piece of cake. This will turn out to be mighty difficult because it’s an antique and some parts are not original.

8. Spend the next four to five hours puzzling and taking the whole closet apart two times, because it keeps falling apart. Feel guilty because you’re taking up your roommates entire Saturday.

9. Ask your dad and one of his friend to make sure the closet doesn’t topple over. Make them spend another half an hour fiddling with the closet.

10. VICTORY! You’re tired and covered with bruises and consumed the time of loads of people, but you have a beautiful art deco closet for little money!

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