Life-like stuffed Maine Coon cats

No no, this is not a re-post. This is follow up to the Life like stuffed Maine Coon cats post. Because I was really interested in what people were looking for in a stuffed Maine Coon cat, I did some research. The results are shocking. Please prepare for what you are about to see.

Behold! A true monster!

This monstrosity of a stuffed animal is supposed to be a Maine Coon, and as the website claims: “This Plush Maine Coon Cat is So Soft & Warm You won’t be able to stop touching him.” Well, to be honest, I think I won’t even be able to bring myself to touch it in the first place. Coons have lush and long tails, it looks like this douche of a stuffed animal got stuck in paper shredder, it’s so awful.

That sorry excuse for a Maine Coon wasn’t the only one I found. This one has the attitude and the tail down, but is still a long way from looking like a Maine Coon:

Close, but no Seagal

And the copywriter who wrote the text for this one is someone that once wrote for the J. Peterman catalogue. At least, that’s what I think when I read sentences like:

“The eyes and nose of each animal are extraordinarily lifelike (ed. the secret word), too—and, of course, safety-anchored” and “Extraordinary. Exquisite. And exclusively yours.” Well, that did it: lifelike, safety-anchored and exclusively mine. And all that for just $ 227.

The last one is the least crappy:

Seagal it still ain't

Also, the website that sells it isn’t written like the cat is the new Christ. It even features a little tidbit about Maine Coons. Nonetheless, I feel that the day that I will spend $ 200 on a “life-like” Maine Coon cat will also be the day that I will think that the nurses are my parents and tapioca pudding is my staple food.

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One Response to “Life-like stuffed Maine Coon cats”

  1. menni Says:

    But still, remember that ugliest cuddly toy everyone had in their early days (the ‘kinderen voor kinderen teddybeer’).. Didn’t look like a real one at all, nevertheless it was the sweetest of ’em all. However, you probably never spent 200 dollars on it, so maybe you have a point after all.

    The grey one is kinda cute though, in a handicapped sort of way!

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